The Depression Debate

My room is usually clean. I’m a good mom. It’s about love, and the girls get love. As screwed up as this looks, I’m doing better. I have made sure to shower, to keep dishes out of my room, to make sure I have clean clothes, and they have clean clothes. I’m taking care of them ok… and that’s only lipstick on the dresser… That’s better right?

No it’s not better and it’s not ok. What sort of mother are you? How can you allow things to make you feel this badly? Have you no concern for your responsibilities? You have been depressed? So fucking what! Even with that, this is uncalled for. It’s disgusting. You are a mother. There is no excuse. This isn’t helping you. This isn’t helping anyone. No one can be happy living like this. It has to end. This is no way to live. You are a terrible person for allowing it to get this bad.

White trash, damaged goods, whore, piece of shit, selfish, lazy, ungrateful little bitch.

Ok, ok, ok!!! I will fix it. I have to, I want to, I need to. But right now I’m exhausted from crying and arguing with myself. But I swear as soon as I wake up from a nap I’ll fix it.

Tomorrow I will debate with me again.

 

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3 comments on “The Depression Debate

  1. coyotero2112 says:

    I’m definitely a follower – ohhh, that looks so bad when written out. Let’s say, I like your writing enough to see more of it in the future.
    Later….

  2. coyotero2112 says:

    Thought I was being given a view of my frig – going to look around your blog, see what’s going on.
    Later…

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